Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Q: Slip-Ons for an Interview?

A: No.

It's not just because I know you all think your black leather slip-ons look totally awesome regardless of what you wear them with, e.g., your Dad Jeans, your kilt, your red tie. It's not just because said foot-coverings look like modernist shoeboxes, like some sort of medieval torture instrument.

It's not just because I know you will wear those shoes with equally black ribbed socks which come up to your mid-shin when you pull them on and slide down to your ankles after 20 paces. It's not just because I know you'll cross your leg during the interview and expose pale legflesh to your helpless interviewer.  (Remember that commercial for the stain stick, where the guy is trying to talk to the interviewer, but the stain on his shirt keeps talking over him?  Your exposed shinbone is like that.)

It's not just because of any of these things. It's the principle, folks. Slip-ons are tassle-free loafers. Loafers are for loafing. Not for serious business.

I feel you.  I used to bend the rules.  Look at this photo, from the infancy of this blog:

My leg.  With a suit.  The colors are right, but the footwear is oh-so-wrong.

Look. I can't always be there with you, so you'll have to follow your gut to decide for yourself whether your interview or first date or court appearance or opera or campaign event or wedding is serious business. Whatever you decide, pitch those blocky leatherette monstrosities and get yourself a proper pair of cap-toes.

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