Monday, March 8, 2010

I Am Confused By Your Footwear Choices

Dear Suit-Wearing Gentleman on the Metro:

Please forgive my forwardness in pulling out your headphones and violently throwing your copy of today's Express down the length of the train car, but I must ask you a question. 

Why are you wearing New Balance sneakers with your suit and carrying your dress shoes in a bag?

I am aware that women do this.  However, apart from a plethora of biological differences, you are different from women in yet another way: The dress shoes which you have--nay, get!--to wear to work are comfortable.  You do not have to wear three-inch heels which get caught in ventilation grates and escalator steps.  You get to wear hard-soled, fully enclosed shoes made out of a beautiful leather which, with a few wearings, readily conforms to your feet.  You have the privilege of getting to wear these masterpieces of a hundred years' worth of shoe-engineering technology.  Unless your dress shoes are too small, there should be no pinching.

I guess you change shoes in the men's room before going into your office, but what if you ran into your boss on the street?  A client?  A girl or boy you were fixing to call for a second date? 

I'm just saying.  Oh, and sorry about the newspaper--whoops, here's my stop!  Bye!


  1. Perhaps you should say that the shoes that men wear "to work are relatively comfortable" compared to high high heels.

  2. A possible solution which I endorse: insoles. Also, wear your shoes more often so they break in more quickly.


Questions, comments, and style ideas welcome, provided they are expressed respectfully.