After a particularly nasty encounter with a giant pothole (in Texas, it would've been filled with water and used as a swimmin' hole) on I-395, in which I valiantly struck the pothole and sacrificed my passenger-side wheels, I have been riding the Metro to work. Apart from the Metro sucking, gentlemen, I've seen some bad habits on our part, and they are making me shrill!
1. Stains! They are on your shirts, and sometimes, they are really big! Kindly refer to The War on Stains series! If these tactics do not work, discard the shirt and buy a new one! You can get four quality white shirts for $20 each at Paul Fredrick! The current coupon code is TZRSAZ! SERIOUSLY YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY EXCUSES YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO LEAVE THE HOUSE
2. Ratty ties! They are stained, they are torn, they are cheap-looking! Go to Filene's Basement and stock up! $15-$20 each! Quality!
3. Stains! Seriously, wow, inspect your clothes before you put them on!
4. Your tie is peeking out the back of your collar! To avoid this, follow my handy protocol!
Gentlemen, people notice your clothes. When you dress slovenly, people notice and their opinion of you is negatively affected. When you dress crisply, people also notice. I know many of you just have to wear slacks and a tie for work, but that doesn't mean you should wear your oldest slacks and your oldest tie and your oldest shirt. Go clothes-shopping once every two months. Watch for sales. Clip coupons. Donate clothes that are too big or too small. If it's stained, donate it.